Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
