Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
