Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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