I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
