he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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