Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
