I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.