He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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