I will die if light touches me.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
