The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize