I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
