his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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