My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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