For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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