I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
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as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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