I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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