are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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