I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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