Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize