I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
