im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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