The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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