Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
