There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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