Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
