i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I am naked and annoyed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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