I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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