Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
