Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
