I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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