The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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