is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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