So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
