FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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