Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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