i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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