Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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