don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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