I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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