are you still at the devil's house?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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