Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
