i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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