it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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