I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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