I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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