Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
