Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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