OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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