i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
