No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
