He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
