If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
