Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm always down for nudity.
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