It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
