Where is the hickey?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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