What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
