Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
