I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
