I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need water and some morals
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
