I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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