GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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