On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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