She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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