I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i think my mom watched the whole time
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
