That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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