And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
