I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
