some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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