Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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